15Malaysia

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Wash your Butt...

This entry you may consider is funny, idiotic, unrealistic, lame and what so ever. But I'm just trying to tell the truth. Alright, since you all already know that I'm an expertise in talking bout BUTTs and SHITs. So there is no surprise I'll have this as one my entries.

So the story goes like this. Everyone in this world have to pass motion (shit). Usually one day once, and for some maybe 2 or 3 days once. But more than the expected days, maybe harmful to your health. I'm not going to talk about how constipation going to affect your health. Yet it is still something health-conscious.

As in this modern world, we have facial tissue and toilet roll for us to wipe our butt. But the question is - "Is it clean enough just by wiping your butt". Seriously, the answer is definitely a 'NO'. OF course talking about shit itself is already so 'geli', what more if I'm going to ask you to wash your butt with your bare hands. But this is what my post is all about. WASH your BUTT..

In fact, I have surveyed and ask a lot of my friends around me whether they wash their butts with water or just wiping it with tissue. The answer show a percentage of WIPE win over WASH. It doesn't surprise me but as for health-conscious wise, I really need to enlighten all of you all about the usefullness of washing your butt. The facts goes like this, when we use tissue roll at home, whether it is hard-type or soft, the tissue roll maybe quite dirty. AS some unwanted bacterias or creatures may be embedded in it. And sometimes for those rough surface tissue, after constant wiping of a few times, it even tear your anus surface and cause you some pain. Passing motion is suppose to be ease our stomach and meant for some relaxation. But if you end up wiping blood out of your butt, wearing your underwear back might seems tearful. Though you may think I sounded ridiculous, but think about it, have you ever face the situation that when you get after shitting, and getting back to your seat to work or study, you have to lean your butt to one side.

For some people, seeing shit is so 'geli' and eerie, but is your own shit, my friend. Is not that I ask you to eat the shit or even touch the shit. But what I ask is to wash your butt. So I'll brief you all two alternative in washing your butt, cleanly and without having to contact your hands with your faeces. The first one is like this, which is quite common and useful, that is to wipe your butt with tissue paper. Wipe those dungs that are in quite big pieces but wipe it softly. Your butt are still not clean at this time, so get up of the toilet bowl and have a water-hose ready. Make a horse-stand (chan ma pu), and aim the hose around 40 centimetres away from your anus. And open the water slowly. Slowly slowly up until you feel the water touching your body. Adjust it to your ass-hole, and let the water flow through. You should see some small pieces of faeces, flying around here and there, do not be worry. Just spray them away later.hehe..and then, grab some body shampoo on the hand not holding the hose one, and wash your butt. This is truly very clean and hygienic.

The second way is mainly for expertise who uses water since they are small. Those PROs are someone like me. So the way goes like this. A very tissue-saving way. What you need to after passing motion is, get up and have the hose aim like mentioned above. BUT..there is a BUT..you have to have a more stable and lower horse stand. This is because bigger pieces of faeces will scatter around. The wider and lower you stand, the more similar the position of your faeces will come down. So just aim the hose at your anus. And start spraying. Spraying at one location that is from your front there for a moment. Let those droppings flew down like snow. And the bring spray the water around your butt, from front to back, back to front before getting shampoo and wash your butt.

It is truly unreasonable to have such entry in my blog but it is really helpful. Especially for guys, because guys are very PRONE..I MEAN VERY VERY PRONE to have haemorrhoid. Some pulse that grew half-outside half inside your ass-hole that whenever you pass motion and the dung passes by anus, it tears and bleed. And end up seeing pool of blood on top of your shit, and for guys, they might be wondering " AM I HAVING A PERIOD JUST LIKE GIRLS DO?" and girls of course they will know what is it. Small haemorrhoid pulse that broke are painful enough to have you sitting on a swimming floater. Bigger haemorrhoids need to taken out by OPERATIONs. Believe me!! Haemorrhoids may seem to be a small matter, but it is deadly. So start washing your butt already. Because you do not know what is in the tissue roll that you use, or do your butt sensitive towards tissue paper. USE WATER as it really helps. TRUST ME!! this is UNREASONABLE but it is the TRUTH.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

A 'realistic' if somewhat weird point on something most people take for granted. Hemorrhoid... lol!

Anyhow as a fellow 'life-time' butt washer may I just point out one problem you did not foresee... which is....

What if you DON'T have a hose at hand to wash with?
(I'm guessing your answer will be to revert back to tissue)

Anonymous said...

if you don't have a hose, use a dipper. ^_^

Alex said...

Hey, what about in school?
what should I do???
get a bottle with water and a paper toilt then clean it? or what.

~Middel School~ GR 7.

Eric (Rwanda) said...

I like the way the Western World is advanced in everything but I wondered why those smart people fear to wipe water their butts. I don't really understand. Here in Africa, even in the rural places, people water wipe their butts to ensure cleanliness. I was born that way and in a Christian family.

I even clean my dick with water after pissing. That's my habit and I fear anyone who doesn't do that way. For a woman, I go away I can't even touch her!

Anonymous said...

nice. i love this. i was wondering if anyone would address this issue. LOL. the one asking about school, the only thing u can do is wait till u go home. unless u brought tissue with u. otherwise, wash ur butt at home n get ur underwear cleaned.

Kimberlyawud said...

Hey, what about in school? what should I do??? get a bottle with water and a paper toilt then clean it? or what. ~Middel School~ GR 7.

eric said...

Hi Kimberlyawud,

It depends on your school then. The typical Malaysian toilets or school we usually have hose, as long your 'aiming' doesn't make you wet your pants/skirts you will be fine.

However, if your school doesn't have a hose or water source, you don't have to wash it while bringing a bottle, as you will be stucked not knowing how much water you need (and imagine washing halfway and you know it is not clean yet) - thus beat is bring the toilet paper and the bottled water, damp the toilet papers with the water from the bottle, you will at least ensure that this is cleaner than just toilet paper alone :)