the Deadliest Weapon - Tongue

Hi guys, I'm back but not with crap. But with something that probably you all might agree with me in ~ l.i.f.e. ~. In our daily life, each and everyone of us definitely have friends surrounding us. And definitely, some major or minor misunderstandings or conflict might happen. This is unavoidable as humans tend to make mistakes. Religionly wise, we should forgive people who make mistakes. And of course our normal human conscience, also will forgive people if things are just small matters. But I guess you are wondering why conflict happen and the most appropriate question might be, How If the One making the mistake, never repent but constantly making identical mistakes. WHAT CAN WE DO??

This is life and I'll like to write this entry in a non-biased manner. Of course, we humans, of all races and religions, will get pissed off with whoever, who either intentionally or unintentionally making mistakes and creating a fuss with us. To think of it, there is probably one reason that causes all this problems. That is definitely as stated in my topic ~ TONGUE - the Deadliest Weapon. You all might think that we talk with our mouth, but precisely, our voice come out from out throat and tongue. Therefore tongue is the factor instead of mouth.

Why is it so? Usually conflicts happen in various ways. It is either when you talk, and hurt somebody. OR when you talk behind someone's back and that third or more party start talking bout it and hurt somebody OR simply Gossiping. This are relatively common and probably I won't focus on GOSSIPING as you all know how it actually occur. What my long tale today will be about face-to-face communication that light up a flame in between.

In ~my life~, just like in Part and Parcels of Life, I have met a lot of friends, from young to old, from whatever background and their brought-ups. Commonly, misunderstanding happen due to our tongue that slip some words that unintentionally slice people's feelings, OR the tone when you are trying to tell people something, OR the manner when you communicate, OR your reluctancy to accept people's opinion and thoughts, OR even your reluctancy to change everything mentioned earlier even after people constantly advising you. Try ask yourself. Learn to ask yourself. Am I somebody who is like that?

The reason why I come up with this blog is that, as you all and many of my friends know that I like to talk, precisely like to crap a lot. Probably you are might think that my tongue are inbornely to talk. I AGREE on that point. But the more you talk, the more prone of you making mistakes when you talk. This is a sure thing, but if you think that what I say is not true. I can simply conclude that- YOU HAVE ACTUALLY HURT MANY OF YOUR FRIENDS' FEELING!
How sure are you??- POSITIVE 100%!!!

Whenever we talk, mistakes will always occur. Therefore, we must always be aware of what we talk, the tone, the manner and all. Some of your friends might accept how and what you do, but totally not all. I learnt a lot throughout my entire life, R.E.S.P.E.C.T. is the most important element when you communicate. We should know when and what we should talk. Not everyone will adapt to how you talk. Friends that are usually less-sensitive may accept that, but how many friends that surround you are insensitive.
To be PRECISE, we MUST :

1. WHAT - you must know what things that can be share to certain friends and what can't be. Because some of the friends they are able to share whatever things with you, but sometimes there are things that people are truly sensitive about it. How do we know are they sensitive?? What I can say is OBSERVE...observe properly.


2. WHEN - you must always know when is the right time to say something. Especially in times of uncalmness either physically or emotionally, we must know what thing can be said. Though sometimes, you might be helpful to comfort your friends, beware of what you say out. Because during this time, anything you said wrong may hurt your friends emotionally directly. But how to comfort our friends where you think they in need of help?? Just be their good listener, even it involves one-sided talking. Don't and never act that you are so damn-fucking good is very important.


3. WHY - One of the major factor that causes conflict in friends is YOU ASK TOO MUCH! Don't question your friend so much that they get sick out of you. We must always know that, each and everyone of us, have a certain limit of patience. If we keep pushing our friend to the limit, time to time, you just constantly pushing your relationship to the edge of the cliff waiting to fall anytime. And what I learn especially for couples, don't ask WHY so much even if you know what happen. And for friends, don't ask WHY if you yourself do not know anything.


4. WHO - This are mostly about the word -RESPECT-. A lot of youth like us, nowadays are lack of true respect towards elders and even companion. Whenever we talk to a senior, always bow down your head. What I mean bowing down is don't challenge them if you know they are wrong. Because it will lead the conversation to nowhere. Trust me! We just keep it to ourselves whenever we know that they are wrong. There is truly no use fighting with an elderly- simply because, THEY THINK YOU ARE 'KURANG-AJAR(rebellious)' and WE THINK THAT THEY ARE IMMATURE. Then when will the conversation end if both parties are fighting for their rights. Think about it. And to our friends when we talk, know who can take what you say. Example that I can show about myself in WHO and what thing I talk is, I don't talk to my college friends about I'm a golfer. In fact, I'm trying to keep it in low-profile and whenever they ask only I tell them. But of course to closer friends, after knowing them for certain time, only I'll share more. Or to your multi-races friends, you don't talk to them about how nice PORK taste like. Or you don't talk to friends who are less fortunate, that you got the BEST GADGETS IN THE WORLD.


5. HOW - you must know HOW to communicate with your friends. BUT HOW TO?? Simply, be OBSERVANT and less boastful. Seriously and truly, don't try to boast if you do not know how to boast. I boast a lot, but at least, I know all the WH- and HOW to do it in a correct way. If you think that what you boast really seem irrelevant until people know you are LYING, then is better to keep your mouth shut instead of making your friends lost hope in you.

WE should always be aware that when you talk about something, ARE everyone paying attention to you? ARE they interested in what you are talking? Do they enjoy your jokes? Most importantly, DO THEY ENJOY YOUR COMPANIONSHIP!

If the answer is NO, then understand yourself, Did I make a Mistake? How to gain back my friends' trust? Don't just point your fingers and say is others fault. Know your tongue truly, madly, deeply well and you won't be afraid of gossipers might give you problem. Even if they do so, just let them be, because people who believe in gossipers are people who listen to one-sided stories. Your tongue is your best weapon to help you know more friends and probably help you earn money, but it is the deadliest when it come to hurting friends.

~ be true to yourself, be true to your friends~