X-Men 2

Sorry for waiting, I know you all have been waiting for my entry about X-Men 2. Sorry for the waiting, I know you all are eager to know the second part (95% ppl forget my entry, 5% don't even want know more the leftover story). Then I think i really need to write a better blog already. Let's roll it..

In X-Men 1, I talk about how I'm related to my 'sai' and how i eat them(yuck). This time, I'll talk about my grow up time with faeces. I always have tummy upset as i always mention, and I still can't help it till today. And this bring me to a lot of incidents eg.

1. rushing to any toilet when the nature calls (i've been to hundreds and thousands of M'sia's dirty toilets),


2. asking my mum to drive faster so that I can make it on time( on time= just a nice time for me to pull down my pants and let it go),


3. playing golf until half- suddenly have to shit, and


4. probably the very hard part is sitting in a bus on a highway or isolated place, where finding toilet is so difficult, but it is so urgent like it's coming out in split of time,


5. even shitting in tuition time, which is very embarassing as girls will look at you (when you come out of the toilet) thinking, ' this wan sure PANGSAI wan la'.

There are so many encounter about my 'passing motion' that sometimes, not sometimes, it is all time damn funny when you think about it.

And I will like to continue with my X-Men 2 story, the story goes like this. It was back in 1998, when I was 10 years old (my most peak time(climax) of my shit story). My 2nd bro, intend to make a new set of spectacles. It was a sudden decision, after my mum and bro fetch me after my stupid boring tuition. And we went to a shop in the town. The shop people are not responding fast enough I could say and my bro is so picky. And the process go for hours. Of course, me (as agile as a monkey) won't just sit down there quietly. So I walk around here and there around the shop, outside the shop and everywhere. It was freaking long for them to check my bro eyes and it is definitely freaking long for me to wait since I'm not the one who is doing the specs (buey tahan). And that time was freaking hot and humid, so it is really uncomfortable for me. hai..as I was waiting, probably more than 1 hour and 30 minutes, suddenly, my tummy wasn't feeling right. And during that time, my control over my 'anus and sphincter muscle aint that good', I really wanted to 'BERAK'. I can consider myself really stupid that time, cause of 'paiseh' want to use that shop's toilet(since they are the one who cause me having tummy upsets). So stupid that i bear and bear and BEAR..until my bro finally settle his specs and all, we decided to leave and I have been bearing it over 50 minutes..probably the longest time i ever bear from shitting during that time (i'm much in control now). And on the way back, my mum drove as usual since my 2nd bro that time still don have licence. So, halfway from reaching home, I suddenly told my mum,

Eric : MA, drive faster abit le, I stomach pain la, I tahan so long already
Mum : aiyo, SI KUI KIA (not pui is Kui= ghost), just now dono how to go the shop's
toilet ar, everytime ask me rush( cos my mum evetime felt pressure whenever I tell her that I wanto return the call of nature, worse when she is driving)
Eric : Paiseh mah, thank to ah yeet(2nd bro) la.. do specs so long and that shop people..slow like pig
Mum : Don't say la..aiyo everytime also like this wan..everytime pangsai make me rush only..how to drive fast
Eric : MA, i think hor..i better don talk liau..the air i suck in hor..make me wan even want to shit already..

A moment later...we were still on the way and it is just 5 mins from my house..
Eric : MA, i really cant tahan already
Mum : What do you expect me to do??
Eric : I really cant tahan already..aiyo..walau eh..wan come out already..
I can feel how pressure my mum is that time..hai..
Mum : Then HOW???
this is the moment why i think I might have the potential of becoming an X-Men..
Eric : gimme one plastic bag, I'll shit on it..

My second bro (who is very sensitive about dirtiness and smelliness wan), responded..
2nd Bro : Walau eh..then mah very SMELLY..how can like that? then who goin to take the plastic bag later..
Eric : (no respond to his question) GIMME A PLASTIC LA..QUICK LA..CANT TAHAN D..
2nd bro : NAH GIVE U LA..walau eh...
Mum : KUI SI LANG (spouting words which means someone who cause such a thing at such a time)

the red plastic bag that i shit on..eh..no no..the plastic bag that i use is quite similar to this type

I took off my pants..grab the plastic bag and wanted to 'NGK' out suddenly my bro shouted again..
2nd bro : AIM CORRECTLY HOR..DON'T SPILL IT ALL OVER the place..OR THE CAR IS GONE
ERIC : HENNAH, THANKS TO YOU LA..

my 2nd bro covered his nose when I was bout to "NGK"..I realy pity my mum..HOW IS SHE GOING TO COVER HER NOSE WHILE SHE IS DRIVING..sory mum

Of course when you want to pass motion, you will pee and fart first wan mah..so I need to adjust my *ahem* and pee and got no time to fart tat time..cos hor..the faeces was pretty "WATERY(lembap)" type(probably is the nasi lemak i took in school)..so immediately i place it correctly (all i can say is, it is not easy to adjust with your car is still moving and shaking and got "HUMP" somemore).

I "NGK' it out..no need "ngk" in fact..just prrrrruuttttt.prrruuttt.fluttt...futtttt..preppprepppprrutttttflaatt fliiiittt..PRRRRRRRROTTTTTTTTTT..
by the time i nearly finish, we reach our home BUT..

the place where i squat and pass motion..

HOW AM I GOING TO WIPE KA-CHNG (BUTT)???

so my mum ask me to carefully open the door..and DON DROP ANY SINGLE LEFTOVER "LAUSAI" ON HER CAR..AND RUN TO THE TOILET..

i did PERFECTLY as how i was told..and rush to the toilet..

BUT..WHO IS GOING TO TAKE and THROW MY PLASTIC OF SHIT???oh ya before i forget to say..I ran and hang that red plastic bag full of my CHOCOLATY SHIT at the my front door..

the place where i hang my plastic of shit..eh..aiyo no again..that is in my old house..this is new house' door knob

In the toilet..there is nothing much left for me to "smack Down" and i heard the conversation outside my toilet..
Mum : YEET AH..TAKE THAT PLASTIC BAG AND THROW
2ND BRO : WALAU EH..Y ME LA??ASK HIM TAKE HIMSELF LATER LA..
Mum: JUST TAKE AND THROW LA..HAIYO..NOT DIRTY WAN LA(i think my mum is trying to abuse her authority as a mum to ask my bro to take my plastic of shit..hia hia)..
2nd bro : WALAU EH..Y LIKE THAT WAN LE..

the place where i recalled, "who is going to take my shit ar"

What I heard from my mum was that my 2nd bro, hold the plastic bag with his whole arm stretch far away from the shit and throw it outside..haha..THANK U BRO..hahaha..after tat..i come out..and I'm embarrass but yet IT's too funny to recall sometimes..

Check out X-MEN 3, on how i use my shit power!!!