Gossip - How to Deal?

I have been around some blogs especially my favourites and popular one and I came across this short note from kennysia.com. So I went and read and it's just about it. Gossips and rumours, and sometimes it's not why we can't cope it, it's that sometimes, as human we just need people to remind us how to cope it. Because, we already knew how to cope it just that at some point in time, we are slacking, didn't think of it and etc. Thus, after reading this common from a forum which Kenny link it, I read it and it's just the simple fact that it is true. So I hope you all will read it and reflect part of it..

ALL CREDITS TO THEFOOL (SENIOR MEMBER OF UNCOMMON KNOWLEDGE FORUM)

Gossip... who cares?

The last time I was bothered, or in fact harmed by gossip, was the last time I defended myself against it.

When you're dealing with rumours, either true or false, of which there is no evidence, then the only thing that's going to decide who's right and who's wrong is conviction...

If your conviction is stranger than that of the people spreading the rumour, then the rumour will have no power. The good thing is that people who spread rumours and gossip a lot, usually have the conviction/will of a fly, and are easily influenced one way or the other. They believe bullshyt on a mere word because they got nothing better to do, or they have no solid footing of their own in reality, so they just borrow others... They're as easy to bullshyt one way as they are the other.

One exception to this is when there is a large group of people all spreading the same rumours as gospel... Together they are stronger, the fact that more people believe the rumours gives the gosippers more confidence in bullshyt they are spreading.

Even then, you can still repell the rumours with conviction, you'll just need more of it. In this case you'll have to be the rock that stands off the tide... put your foot down and don't let up.

This is all of course, assuming the rumours are untrue, because if they are true, then you'll need to be a pretty solid liar to quell them!

Defending yourself against rumours is a big nono... trying to refute rumours is simply ADDING to them. The best thing to do, is to simply deny whatever the rumour suggests and leave it at that... don't go off to search evidence or whatever, you'll only be keeping it alive and putting more attention on it that it deserves...

The bottom line is... rumours are bullshyt, and you have no time to waste on them. People talk shyt, it's really not your problem, and if it does become a problem, you put them down, hard and abrupt... In a way that properly conveys your annoyance with people spreading completely unsubstantiated and negative information about you.

Not so long ago, a woman I was interested in and dating, confronted me with a rumour she had caught wind of... She heard i was still very much involved with an ex gf... Which is quite frankly a complete lie, we are friends and have been for many years.

She starting acting aloof, so i confronted her about it, and she told me about the rumour. I told her that if she had heard something like that, she should have just confronted me about it, instead of going off and drawing her conclusions based on lopsides folk tales.

She agreed but wasn't convinced regardless, so i just stuck to the fact... we're friends, and have been for years... that's all it is, and if she can't take my word for it then there's nothing i can do... her move!

Now i realise that was kind of a power play, but the point is that I was NOT in the mood for defending myself against stupid gossipers which imho are one step up from unicells in the chain of evolution, and so i felt no need whatsoever to further justify myself, and left it at the facts and my word that those WERE the facts.

That was that, and it worked, she came around, but the relationship ended quickly because she was very jealous of the relationship me and my ex have, and I didn't want to deal with that.